Gordo's Brain

Oh. my aching sides … I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I never had the Chinese government pegged for a bunch of comedians, but they are.

Periodically, I pick up The Epoch Times at lunch time. It’s a multi-national newspaper/news organization founded by practitioners of Falun Gong in 2000. Originally used a primarily an Anti-Chinese government propaganda paper, it’s progressed into quite a decent newspaper. In an age of lazy-ass reporting, that’s saying something.

Anyway, the headline on the Nov 27 – Dec 3 issue caught my eye and made me stop dead:

Axl Rose leads plot for global domination

Yah, frontman for Guns n’ Roses Axl Rose. The Chinese Communist party has issues with the title of the latest GNR cd:

The album called, Chinese Democracy has raised questions about the meaning behind the title.

Guns n’ Roses bandleader, Axl Rose, is said to have been plotting his quest for global domination for the past 17 years. He even spoke publicly of his plans for the “album” in 1994, prompting some to comment that it was a “plot cooked up in the open.”

I swear, I am NOT making this up.

The title of the article in the Communist paper, “American band releases album venomously attacking China,” seemed to hint at the identity of one of the Western nations thought to be involved in the global plot, but the article did not mention specifics.

It is believed that China’s Communist authorities will be looking closely into Mr. Rose’s past in an attempt to ascertain the identities of the Western nations being lead by Mr. Rose in this international conspiracy.

Some clues may include that fact that Mr. Rose sometimes wears a kilt on stage, which could implicate Scotland or Ireland.

Uh oh. I don’t wear a kilt, but I AM entitled to. Does that implicate me? I’ve never been involved in a global conspiracy before. You’d think it would feel differemt, but I feel teh same as any other non-conspiracy day. Hmmm.

The closing paragraph is the best:

Considering that the paper believes the conspirators intend to implement democracy as the sole global ideology, new meaning may be read into the fact that Mr. Rose has often been seen on stage vehemently gesticulating with a single finger in the air. Research may be conducted into the true meanings behind “flip” and “bird”.

Sometimes, you just have to love a totalitarian regime. Now, I simply have to buy the CD.

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