December 21st, 2009 | 
Author: And why it truly sucked.
I can’t say it any better than cowmix, who submitted this to Slashdot this afternoon:
“When TPM came out ten years ago, its utter crappiness shocked me to the core and wounded a entire generation of geeks. My inner child had been abused and betrayed. I moped around, talking to no one, for almost two weeks. I couldn’t bring myself to see #2 or #3, whatever they were called. Now, a decade later, comes Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review, the ultimate, seven-part, seventy minute analysis of this mother of all train wrecks. Not only does it nail how the film blows, but tells us why. Time, apparently, does not heal all wounds.”
No, no it doesn’t.
When I refer to the Star Wars films, I make a hard distinction between the “good ones” (nominally Eps IV – VI) and the crap that Lucas appears to have released solely to abuse his fan base. After suffering through TPM, I didn’t bother with “Attack of the Clones” and I don’t even recall noticing the release of the third one (I don’t know the name of it and I can’t be bothered looking it up.) I’ve introduced Phil to the good ones and he’s eaten them right up. I have no interest in watching the crappy ones and certainly won’t spend perfectly good money on them.
Anyway, have a look. The guy’s bang-on in his criticisms. It’s definitely not safe for work, though. LOL
Slashfilm has one page with them all embedded here.
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I’m with you, Gordo. I hold Star Wars (Episode IV if we must be that exact) in my heart with the same reverence I reserve for things like my first glimpse of a woman’s bare breasts and my first motorcycle. The fourth and ongoing movies were abominable, and I refuse to endure them. Good on you for exposing Phil to the good stuff.
Oh–watched the remake of “The Day The Earth Stood Still” last week. I knew I’d regret it, but not how much. Three words describe the depths of my deep sadness– “anorexic Jennifer Connelly.” I want to die.
A New Hope was the one and only movie that I remember seeing with my grandfather. We literally all went as a family. It’s funny, I can even remember Grampa asking for the “Golden Age” discount.
I’ve seen it, too. Ugh. Space locusts? Jeez, Louise. Interesting that they felt the need to package it with the original.
I’ve seen them all, I’m afraid, for completion’s sake. My heart belongs to Episode V; it gets better every time I see it.
Oh very good. OMG 7 parts. I was killing myself after the first one.
I recall the Sir Alec Guiness didn’t like the Star Wars films at all. I think he developed a nasty euphamism for them. I suspect he didn’t think there was enough character development. God knows what he would have said about the prequils. Oh but then he could see the future couldn’t he.
I enjoyed the originals as a kid. I recall going with my grandma who enjoyed them. She was just a wee bit confused out of the gate until she realized the guys in the white shinny suits were the bad guys. Just fine after that. She’d seen the original Flash Gordon’s what a comparison. Sharp as a tack my gran was.